So is almost one in the morning here and I can't sleep...I have had nausea for about a week now and lots of headaches...I didn't know if it was in my head or the flu or if im pregnant...I know what I want it to be of course. Again with the symptoms I guess...I hate this part of trying...its exhausting...well anyways I threw up a little bit tonight..so at least I can rule out that its not just in my head...Either flu/stress or pregnancy...now we play the waiting game. I plan on taking a test on my birthday if I haven't started the dreaded period by then. I know a lot of my friends are sick of me complaining or wanting a baby or whatever...but honestly I don't care what anybody else thinks anymore. I know a lot of people think I should just be over it..its been two months...but I still fall apart at times...a lot actually. Lucas doesnt even know it...either hes downstairs or asleep when I fall apart. I just can't help it...there are so many undeserving people out there getting pregnant & having babies...it just doesn't seem fair. All I want is a child to call my own...to dress up..and play with..and take care of...I don't think its too much to ask. Sorry guys..just had to vent and let it out..I've been bottling it up a lot lately. Plus Im emotional...another symptom that Im probably just psyching myself out over. Whatever. Please just pray that its what I want it to be..please...I really want this more than anything.
Anyways..on a good note..I get to go home to Texas for my birthday...I leave in FOUR days...Im super excited...I can't wait to see my family.
